I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
