I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
