At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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