U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
