so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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