To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize