hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
