I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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