He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
