I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
