Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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