Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
