I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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