I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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