I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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