Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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