Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
