He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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