she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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