They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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