Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
