JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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