3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
