this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
