He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
