I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
