We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
