What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
