Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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