Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
