ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
