hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
