Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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