No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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