I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize