im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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