so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
