i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
