He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
