she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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