My liver just broke up with me...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
