Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
