Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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