Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize