put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
they need to just BURY HIM!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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