I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
