we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
