he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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