matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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