i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
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