Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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