Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
