so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
