Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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