I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year