What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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