It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize