I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize