Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
