Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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